On a lighter note: ZuMA vs Motlanthe

On a lighter note: ZuMA vs Motlanthe

South Africans have a strange method of choosing its leaders. Those who say that our method of selecting our leaders is too obscure simply do not know what they are talking about. It is very simple that even a grade 1 child can understand it….

This is how we do it: We simply look at whether their name or surname starts or ends with a M or MA (as in “Jou MA se leader!). And then we elect them…

Just think about.

First we chose MAndela.

Then Mbeki.

Then ZuMA.

And in the middle we had Motlanthe. KgaleMA Motlanthe nogal!

And of course with MAntashe as General Secretary of the ANC…So Mbalula qualifies, but not as strongly as MAntashe…

Motlanthe of course became deputy President when Zuma was elected as President, so we had our alphabetical bases covered right at the top.

Ramaphosa has MA in the middle of his surname so he might stand a chance to be deputy President (but currently does not qualify since neither his name nor surname starts or ends with M or MA). But at least it is snuck in there somewhere…

In terms of our current selection process – a KgaleMA Motlanthe and a MAtthews Phosa in the presidency and deputy stands a very good chance (if the ANC decides to remain consistent with its selection process…)

We can think of many others who were elected in this way. The ANC youth decided to cover all their bases and chose someone whose surname STARTS and ENDS with MA….MAleMA…Nowadays it is a bit of a swearword as in the Afrikaans sentence “Hy is nou in sy Malema…”

The workers chose ZwelinziMA.

The women chose Angie Motshekga.

Our Minister in the President responsible for national planning is MAnuel.

Our brilliant health minister is Motsoaledi, who should really be our next President.

Then of course on the other side of the spectrum we have Mamphela Ramphele.

And Lindiwe MAzibuko and MAngosuthu….we South Africans are crazy!

I thought Desmond Tutu did not qualify, but then I realised his name starts with a M (Mpilo).

But Thabo MAkgoba definitely qualifies….the Anglican church knows how to choose!

But Tokyo Sexwale definitely does not qualify…but does he have a second or third name?

So there you have it. If you have ANY desire for your child to reach high political or even ecclesiastical office in South Africa and your surname does not start with a M or MA, at least give your child a name that starts with M or MA!

Bottom line: the next ANC President will have a name or surname that starts or ends with M or MA….you can put your money on that!

(Next post on this topic: how the Arab spring got rid of leaders whose name or surname starts with M or MU….think Muammar and Mubarak).

(Then: African leaders who have died – of natural causes? – these past few years…..Mutharika, etc.)

Written by Edwin Arrison